Introducing “Poser Rock” an amazing new genera  

What is a rock stat? – A stereotypical rock star is someone who by nature is kind of dangerous, not very politically correct, and relatively out of control. A Rock Start is not afraid of controversy. in fact they feel empowered when they push the envelope as far as they possibly can, regardless of consequence, and regardless of audience. They are shooting stars in the Music Industry, with their bad attitudes, and exposed middle fingers -  and we love them every second for it. Jim Morrison, Curt Cobain, Axl Rose, Slash, Maynard Keenan, Lane Staley, Trent Reznor, Nikki Six, Courtney Love, Amy Winehouse and even Madonna are all artists I would say carry the rock stars persona. 

What is a pop star? Unlike Rock Star a Pop Star is someone who is politically correct. They generally don't like controversy, in fact they don’t feel comfortable embroiled in it, and will do everything it takes to avoid it. By nature Pop stars have a clean cut image, and crave mass acceptance and appeal. I’ve even heard it said – “A pop start wants you to like him, a rock start doesn’t give a f%$#” Well said! Michael Jackson, Michael Bolton, Paula Abdul, Kenny Loggins, Lionel Richie, Celine Dion and even Josh Brogren are artists I would say carry the pop stars persona.

Over the last decade we've witnessed a new breed of rock slowly slithering up our orifices. I've heard these bands called Candy Metal, Corporate Rock, or even Hard Pop. Bands “posing” as “rock stars” but based on their lame ass look, behavior, songs, lyrics, actions, and even there perfectly choreographed live performances they are anything but. These bands tend to be highly corporate, possessing a highly commercialized musical productions that sounds overly polished, extremely predictable, popish, lukewarm, and even sing songy in nature. Regardless of the distorted guitar or some of the cool visuals offered up – they are anything but rock stars. Their music lacks the stereotypical jagged edge sound that cuts you like a knife, In fact since were on the subject its more like a butter knife. The following bands or artists are what I consider to be “Poser rockers” – Coldplay, Matchbox 20, Gin Blossoms, Daughtry, Lifehouse, and yes even Nikelback.

My hats off to this new amazing genera “Poser Rock” Now we have an amazing catalogue of music to listen to while we eat our bran muffins. Other activities include doing yoga, homework, bird watching, house cleaning, attending parent teacher conferences, dropping bad habits, or even when your at the dentist. All of the aforementioned bands should consider themselves true “Poser Rock” pioneers, as they help us get through our elevator rides. No offence guys but your music is nothing I would start a riot to, but it doesn’t mean it’s not changing the world with its message. More and more Americans are cleaning up their act by exercising regularly, quitting smoking, drinking, not getting into s fight, changing their diet – all a direct result “Poser Rock” is having on our “pop” culture. As for all those closet poser rockers out there: (You know who you are) I say put out your cigarettes, and jump in the water.. You’ll not only be making millions of dollars doing it, but you’ll finally be giving millions of fans music they can finally drive home safely to.

As a direct result of this massive shift over to “Poser Rock” by millions of bands that want a piece of the action (signed or unsigned) we’ve seen a massive exodus of Rap Stars rising up in order to fill this huge void once occupied by real Rock Stars. My hats off to those Rap Stars out there for taking one for the team, and doing America dirty work for us, while we all pretend to be hard core like you. It’s days like this I drive down the road having Nikelbakc" shoved up my ass via my radio  I scream “WHY CAN'T I BE A BLACK DUDE!”  

In close I feel it is appropriate to make on final announcement. This amazing new “Poser Rock” genera needs a tag line to go along with it's movement. So let me officially announce to the world the official “Poser Rock” tag line.I am officially replacing Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll with “Condemns, Vitamins and Poser Rock!”

....and my hats off to Nikelback for not suing themselves - http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4258547